make a change
to move on
to be
better
to live my life.

finally visited my godma today after work and seriously i dunno hw to face her. because its been so long since i visited her i really feel bad about it.

yups as usual alot of food need to be finished up by me myself and I. i think im so used to lying, i almost wanted to vomit when i ate the 'dunno-what-is-it-called' but still had to say it was very nice. i regretted the very next moment because she asked me to eat more since its nice.

i really felt like vomiting.

lol.

after dinner we were watching some tv show featuring on chn 8.
it makes me think a lot and really i need to do something about my life/.

i have been neglecting my health especially my spine problem. actually im not as brave as you think i am, i dont dare to face up to the reality. so i ran away.


though i dont show it, but deep in my heart i know thats something i need to solve.


my blueblacks are getting more obvious. i dunno when my skin get so dry that it starts to itch. and sometimes it bleeds when i scratch it uncontrollably. my ears are getting better, thanks to the lotion i have conscientiously been applying after shower.


sometimes i don even dare to voice out my worries, haha don wanna be emo.

i will be stronger! i need to move on.


lend me your strength?