i have become quite emotional these few days weeks, which makes my life upside down. basically i have been living a rollercoaster-ride-life. Sometimes i feel like im in a battle where nobody knows when it will eventually come to cease.

its a terrifying feeling because you cant prepare if you dont know whats coming. they say, 'you never need to know whats your goal in life, you just need to know what you are going to do next.' REALLY? hahaa. i read this from sophie kinsella's collection.

i feel connected to the story because its as if im the lawyer-turning-to-domestic helper, who is not sure of her goal in life. should she return to her lawyer job , where she earns $500 per hr, burns her weekends and holidays off because of work, basically she got no life! or leads a simple yet fullfilling life where she earns $500 per month.

this is like crazy!! hahha. it really makes me having second thoughts about having an events job. Because it means no day and no night if there are endless events going on!

Will i become like her one day. Sacrificing her youth n life? the time can never return. the time you have lost.

Im thinking of a secretariel job, but will I be happy working as a secretary de rest of my life? having to do work that your boss detest, doing a servant's job. my brother said. Will you be happy, serving your boss like a servant after studying so hard for your diploma?

i was like yes! why not! hahaha. they earn quite a bit!

and he was like, rolling his eyes away.

but on a second thought, i don think my character suits that position. hey im smart ok! how can i jus waste my talent!! I might be the boss one day! ahaha.

What do you think?

its really hard to make decisions in life. maybe because everyone hopes for the best? But im slowly realising theres no best deal in life.